Esse quam videri - to be rather than to seem to be

Esse quam videri

Esse quam videri – to be rather than to seem. Latin. Found in Plato's Republic (361BCE). The motto for the state of Carolina USA and of many school/university mottos around the world.

The nature of God (who is always self-consistent; is the embodiment of truth; is reliable and trustworthy) and the bible (through its many characters, stories and scriptures) exhorts us to BE rather than to just SEEM TO BE (Esse quam videri).

Psalm 15 "LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken."

Proverbs 19:22 "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace. No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked have their fill of trouble. The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful."

We are exhorted to be self-consistent/true to God, to others and to ourselves.

Truthful to God

The bible exhorts us to be truthful with him…

1 Samuel 16: 7 "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Acts 5:3-6 "Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land?…You have not lied to men but to God." When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died…"

Truthful to others

The bible exhorts us to be truthful with one another…

Col 3:9-10 "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator."

Psalm 34:12-13 "Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."

Lev 19:11 "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another."

Healthy friendships/relationships depend on both people being truthful. What you see is what you get. It doesn't take a woman long to see through the façade (intending to conceal something unpleasant) and when that happens the relationship comes under pressure. The best relationships are built on truth, trust, vulnerability, honesty, sincerity, etc. Esse quam videri – To BE rather than to just SEEM TO BE.

And finally, and not to be understated…

Truthful to one self

The bible exhorts us to be truthful to ourselves…

Psalm 36: 1-3 "An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin. The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good."

Lam 3:40 "Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD." Introspection

Proverbs 20:5 "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."

Romans 12:3 "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Have an accurate picture of yourself.

Rev 3:17 "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."

How do we get an accurate view of ourselves. We are who God made us to be but why do we find it difficult to see ourselves as God sees us. We all have a self-image (the way we see ourselves) that may or may not be very accurate.

Errant self-perception/self-deception - we act the way we are expected to behave or according to the internal self-image we have.

How do you see yourself and why? - Are you a looser/champion; good-looking/ugly; smart/dumb; faithful/unfaithful; practical/intellectual

How has your self-image been formed? – good/bad experience; achievement/failure, trauma; positive reinforcement; love; divine revelation; encouragement/discouragement;

Is your self-image healthy or unhealthy? Is it constructive or destructive?

We are sometimes false/pretentious (pretending to be other that what we are) or even hypocritical (doing other that we instruct/expect others to do).

Here are some of the forces at work that inspire us to be other that what we are:

Ignorance

We have no-idea who we are. We act as we have seen role-models act but can't always pull it off/ it doesn't quite fit/feel right. We can't articulate what we stand for/what we believe in/what out values are. We don't have anyone who feels the freedom to speak into our lives/to speak the truth in love/to confront us. We are still young and live in the shadow of others/we haven't yet found our own voice.

It is the duty of a friend to speak the truth in love. Usually they'll need to be invited.

Fear

Fear of loosing acceptance/respect/admiration/friendship of others

We fear that we might be rejected by those that we respect/fear. We hold being true to ourselves as an important ideal but one that that we can easily set aside when the going gets tough. Our self-image depends on the acceptance of others/we don't want to rock-the-boat. Our sense of self-worth comes from others' opinions of us/we look to others to see ourselves.

Story: me as teenage MC having learned the tricks from observing others hid behind them so that the insecure me could not be seen. Two good friends challenged the up-front me. The next time I the real me acted as MC – it was a disaster. It took me a long time to face my internal self-deceptions/perceptions and become self-secure/assured…to have a healthy/balanced self-esteem.

Peter and the three-crowed cock…Matthew 26:31-35, 69-75…Peter was destined to be the rock on which Christ would build his church (Matt 16-18).

1 John3:13 "Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you." You should expect rejection.

Romans 14:22-23 "So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin."

The antithesis of Faith (to be secure in imagined knowledge) is Fear (to be insecure in imagined knowledge) and fear we are told is sin (separating us from God but through the reconciliation of faith in Jesus).

The spiritual man

So, what does the spiritual man look like…

The spiritual man is more interested in "being" than "seeming to be".

The spiritual man is truthful to God.

The spiritual man is truthful to others.

The spiritual man understands himself and is truthful to himself.

The spiritual man will be known by the fruit of his life.

The spiritual man can't be intimidated.